Late-Night Personalities Target Trump's New 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Late-night's leading comedians used the broadcast ridiculing President Donald Trump's newly unveiled visa initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," describing it as a clear pay-for-access arrangement for the affluent.

Colbert's Pointed Analysis

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a mock holiday song directed at the president. "He's making a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "The President ... spoils each thing he comes into contact with."

Colbert's target was the controversial initiative which permits international individuals to purchase U.S. residency for a sum of a million dollars, with a "top-tier" tier for five million. The program's portal guarantees approval "in record time."

"A brief message for you to wealthy immigrants: before you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the card is also meant to "extract cash" from firms wanting to hire foreign workers, involving large costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your choice – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"Unprecedented vetting the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals absolutely meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your choosing."

"It might be time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the form, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Grocery Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval numbers during economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a another term because they were angry about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a attempt to discuss cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of food items, and reacted peculiarly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by criticizing conservative media arguments of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.